Wordle!

Why I was right and assorted thoughts

My last post was spot-on: the day after I wrote it, a political piece appeared in the Times-Picayune that began with one of my favorite and most abused quotes:

Once more unto the breach, dear friends, once more;

Or close the wall up with our English dead.

This particular quote, from Henry V by Shakespeare, is when King Henry is assaulting a French-held city and he is telling his soldiers to attack a breach in the wall of the city - even if they fail and must fill it up with their dead comrades.  The soldiers must go, once more, into that breach which has been such a menace to them all.  Victory or death.

The piece was about how a Republican Senator, absolutely disgusted with the state of affairs in Washington, has come out of a decade or more of retirement and relaxed living to run again.  The quote was used as both a humorous and extremely serious comment about how he must throw himself into the breach he once left, abandoning all of the comforts of retirement to re-enter the bloody business that is politics.

I don't usually read that particular writer's columns, but it was that quote which really drew me in and forced me to read.  It works, even on someone who tries not to get pulled in by fancy tricks.  I close with the last four lines of the same quote:

I see you stand like greyhounds in the slips,
Straining upon the start. The game's afoot:
Follow your spirit, and upon this charge
Cry 'God for Harry, England, and Saint George!'

Why I think quotes are the best possible opener

I think that this is a rather silly post considering that I've only done it once, but I'll continue anyway.

I believe, personally, that a powerful - RELEVANT - quote can be the best possible hook for a paper.  Think about it: it was the words of powerful men and women, simple statements and observations, that have captured the minds of people around the world.  Think of how a few simple words can have a powerful impact on a paper.


Perhaps if you are writing about patriotism or duty, the order "England expects that every man will do his duty" is a suitable one.  The order was given before the Battle of Trafalgar during the Napoleonic Wars, where a British Fleet defeated a much larger French and Spanish fleet and turned the tide of the war against the French.  The man who gave the order, Horatio Nelson, is considered perhaps England's greatest war hero.  The quote is a powerful one that can be used to explain the power of duty, patriotism, honor, or sacrifice to a country if expounded on correctly.

Or maybe you're writing about greed.  "If money be not thy servant, it will be thy master. The covetous man cannot so properly be said to possess wealth, as that may be said to possess him."  This quote by none other than Sir Francis Bacon can be used as a powerful example of the effect money can have on a man.

There's always (okay, almost always) a situation where a quote can be used.  Take a look at a few of these and think of what topics they can be applied to:

"The victor will never be asked if he told the truth."  Adolf Hitler
"Women speak two languages - one of which is verbal."  William Shakespeare
"The best way to destroy an enemy is to make him a friend."  Abraham Lincoln
"History is the record of the encounter between character and circumstance."  Donald Creighton
"The books that the world calls immoral are the books that show the world its own shame."  Oscar Wilde

I find that men like Oscar Wilde, who happens to be my favorite playwright, often have the best quotes out of the lot.

Why I think you should never look at the time

Have you ever heard of something called time dilation?  It's the unofficial name of the experience that when under intense pressure or extreme circumstances, time literally slows down.  The reasons why are unknown, but there is one prominent theory:

A skinny, suburban mother can lift a two-ton car when her child is in danger.  A hiker can shatter his arm bone and cut it off if trapped under a boulder.  A child can hold his breath for upwards of ten minutes if he is trapped underwater.  Normally, these feats are impossible.  The human body, however, is a magical thing.  Adrenaline coursing through your veins can cause you to have literally superhuman strength.  The pain of shattering your own arm, which would cause normal people to lie in shock, is dulled under the survival instinct and - again - adrenaline.  The brain can lower your body temperature and require less air to survive underwater.  The leading theory why we cannot do these things all the time is simply that our muscles and brain would literally waste away from the intense amount of pressure put on them.

What does this have to do with time?  Think.  Many police officers have noted the sensation that during a firefight or hostage situation, ten seconds feels like half an hour.  Normally, it takes a second to draw a gun, and another to aim and fire correctly.  The noted officers have claimed that when in extreme danger, it is almost as if suspects with weapons take five or ten seconds to draw their guns.  Similarly, when sky-diving, our sensation of time seems out of whack and it takes longer to fall down to earth than it should.

The theory behind it is relatively simple as well: during intense or extreme circumstances, the human brain and body work together to turn you into the most efficient animal on the planet.  We can process scenes, think on them, and act ten times faster than normal.

What does this have to do with essay-writing?  Here's my answer: don't look at the time.  Don't think about dividing your time.  Just work.  Brainstorm and write.  Look up only before and after your essays.  Always think you're running out of time.  Write as if you're going to die if you can't.

You'll beat the clock - and maybe in record time.

Why I hate names

I hate names.  I really, really, really hate names.  I'm trying to write a story and the title on the main character is 'Campeador'.  He is not called by his first name, and for the first part of the story he doesn't even know it.  I must call him just Campeador.

I feel like repeating Campeador over and over or 'him' over and over just makes for tedious reading.  I really don't like using things like 'the expert swordsman' instead of him or Campeador, because it makes it look a little cheap.

So the lesson here is to make sure you have a title, first name, last name, nickname, and profession for your main character.

non-english related: bestbuy is awesome

So, I went out last midnight with my little sister to get the New Moon DVD.  Went to Best Buy and my friend asked very loudly in front of everybody if they were selling other things, specifically the new Pokemon games that came out.  Even as everyone laughed, the manager was like "sorry mate". Then my crippled, pathetic little mom was like "so i have to make another trip tomorrow ;___;" and the dude felt sorry so he let us buy it.

That's awesome. 8) go bestbuy

Why my picture is of an eagle

Why is my picture of an eagle totally owning a swallow?  Because it just is.  I thought it was awesome, but I'll need to make a smaller version for it to work.

Anyway, I thought I'd tackle a good issue today: brainstorming.  Here's an example I just made up off the top of my head:

Support or refute the assertion by the author that supports of abortion are responsible for the "gendercide" committed in China and India.

If you don't know what gendercide is, it's a soundbite word designed to make an emotional response.  It combines "genocide" with "gender" to create gendercide.  What it means is that many girls in China and India are being aborted just for being girls.  The author believes that any person who is pro-choice, or a supporter of abortion, is thus morally responsible for this happening.  We must now support or refute it.

Let me take the position of supporting the author.  I'll think of three ideas off the top of my head.
1. People who are pro-choice are empowering those in India/China to do this, so they are morally responsible.
2. Abortion is unnatural, so this choice would otherwise not be available without pro-choicers.
3. If abortion were not legal, this would not be happening

I'll pick the first point as my first paragraph, second as second, and third as third.  There is no elaboration here, there is no deep thought, there is only the first things that I thought of.  Your gut is usually right!  Write each of these down, and then say "introduction" at the top of the page and put your hook there.  Then at the conclusion section, write "conclusion" and then write what sort of bang you want your paper to go out with.  It should look like:

"Introduction" >abortion is murder. get over it.<
a. three reasons
"paragraph one"
point one from above
"paragraph two"
point two from above
"paragraph three (optional, usally)"
point three from above
"conclusion"
recap, >if you support the right to terminate a baby you support the right to gendercide<

That's a quick brainstorming session that can be done in under five minutes.  Don't write any details.  Just start writing, and if you think of a new idea then disregard it.  If you want details, put them in once you have a topic sentence formulated.  Remember - until you have a topic sentence, you do not have a paragraph.  Get a topic sentence and build from there, don't just start writing.

Oh, and by the way, this was actually based off of a debate I had before.  I didn't agree with the author's assertion, because it's retarded.

Why I like to teach people to write

Ms. Leonhard wanted to know how I felt about coaching her freshman boys, so...

This personal blog won't have perfect grammar, mainly because I'm a little lazy.  For the most part, though, I try to write as best I can.  Why?  The answer is simple: writing is one of the single most important skills to know in the world today.  Almost all high-paying jobs, sans sports players, require the employee to be able to communicate well.  Accountants, who can get a ~$70000 starting salary straight out of college, need to be able to clearly state what issues they find and how they can be fixed.  Doctors need to be able to accurately write down symptoms and complications.  Judges and lawyers need to fill out massive amounts of paperwork.  Senators have to be able to talk to the people and to other Senators.  Diplomats have to understand both mangled and professionally translated English.  Engineers have to make detailed technical reports on expensive projects.  Astronauts are required to report on everything they do in space.  Scientists must accurately convey the results of studies and experiments.  I could go on, but I think I've given enough examples.

Why is it, then, that teenagers cannot write?  Not literally, of course, but many students don't understand some simple grammar rules like comma usage, capitalization, and misplaced modifiers.  Do we not want to write because the English language has rules?  Is it because we are too lazy?  I don't know. What I do know is that most professional jobs require competent use of the English language.  I also know that if most of our generation cannot write well, it will turn into a series of problems in the future.  Finally, I know most of the people in my grade and I don't want to see them working at McDonald's for the rest of their lives.  They need to be successful, not minimum wage workers.

So, why do I like to teach people to write?  The answer is, again, simple: writing is one of the easiest skills to learn and is one of the most used and valuable skills in the world.  You can write for business or pleasure, for fun or for a friend, for anything!  Communication is the most powerful tool in the world, and it makes me happy to know that more people from my generation know how to utilize it.

Why I use commas the way I do

I get a lot of "commas don't go there!" when I write, but the majority of people who think I use too many commas are wrong.  Most people in America are taught to use a list like:

X, Y and Z
as compared to my
X, Y, and Z

My style of comma usage is the implementation of the serial (or Oxford) comma.  This is generally used in cases of ambiguity, or confusion, or aid prosody, or the rhythm and stress of reading.  I generally use the serial comma because I find it easier to read faster with the clearer separation in lists.  An example:

To my parents, Ayn Rand and God.

This particular book dedication presents ambiguity: is the author dedicating this book to her parents and Ayn Rand and God, or is she dedicating it to her parents, who are Ayn Rand and God?  The insertion of a serial comma, making it:

To my parents, Ayn Rand, and God.

Would clear the issue up.  There are issues of ambiguity when using serial commas in longer sentences, but generally that can be cleared up by splitting sentences or proper semicolon usage. 

Why I write like a sane human being

A lot of people ask me how I got so good at writing, spelling, or just overall grammar.  My answer usually isn't what they expect: video games.

When I was a very young boy, I often had nothing to do except read, watch TV, or play games.  TV, for the most part, was pushed aside to Saturday mornings when the new Power Rangers would come on.  We never had enough books for me to read, so for the most part I was stuck playing video games.  Not games like Doom or Quake, but Diablo II, Red Alert II, Age of Empires II, and Civilization II.  The latter games were noted for their fast-paced multiplayer modes, which meant constant monitoring of your characters, armies, castles, and empires, respectively.  It also meant having to type fast and legibly for the other players lest your instructions be misconstrued into a fatal mistake.

The video games also taught me how to type fast with minimal mistakes because of their frenetic pace, and in the case of the latter two games they taught an extremely large amount of history for a seven and eight year old to pick up.  I would spend hours reading on history in Age of Empires II, and sometimes spend entire nights playing different civilizations (like the Egyptians or Indians or maybe the Native Americans) in Civ II. 

The combination of fast-pace typing, needing legible sentences, historical reading, and addictive playing all combined into an impromptu but highly effective course in how to write like a sane human being.